I was sixteen weeks pregnant with twins and had decided to attend my first twins club meeting. I was enticed by the speaker at this particular meeting that promised domestic bliss and organization. Or at least help in learning how to reach those lofty goals.
So I waddled into the church hall knowing but one mom. And hoping for the skills I needed to cope with the impending birth of my twins, when I was already having enough trouble keeping up with my eighteen month old at home.
The speaker, a bubbly blonde woman, started by asking us if we would like to have more time to do things other than laundry and dishes. Of course everyone nodded and smiled.
And then she broke into a story about how she used to run around picking up after everyone. Until one day her husband told her their house was so clean it didn’t feel lived in to him.
I thought maybe I should have him over to my house for dinner. There was no chance he would feel that way there. Between the piles of mail in the kitchen, the toys strewn all over every toddler friendly surface, and the laundry spilling over the top of the hamper, our house is definitely being lived in.
Anyway she hands out a list of strategies for the “domestically challenged.” Tips as it were to cover up for some of the areas we may be lacking in.
1) Fill plastic bins with any and all items left out at the end of the day. If the owner can not pick it up for themselves than it is in jail for a specified amount of time. Children and adults included.
2) Fill out all birthday, anniversary, and other special occasion cards on the first day of the month. Write the date of the event in the space that the stamp will cover and then dole out on the appropriate days.
3) Buy a step stool and start training your little ones to complete household chores like putting towels in the linen closet.
It continued on but this was where she lost me.
I sat there listening to the her go on about these topics as I constantly readjusted my uncomfortably pregnant body. And all I could think was, I cook clean do dishes diapers and manage a few minutes to myself he and there. And because I don’t turn out batches of special occasion cards every month, pick up every last toy and dirty sock, and send my toddler son into the bathroom to balance a step stool on the toilet to reach the linen cupboard, I am “domestically challenged?”
What are they going to call me when I’ve got a two year old and newborn twins to look after? Maternally retarded. Because I can’t tandem nurse twins while simultaneously preparing my toddler an organic trans-fat and BPA free lunch?
I got news for you. I can cook food from scratch, make my own baby food, wash my own cloth diapers, teach my son to sing, grow organic vegetables, plant gardens for my kids to play in and bake a birthday cake like you wouldn’t believe.
And if because my house does not look like the pages of Martha Stewart magazine that makes me domestically challenged well bring it on.
Little did I know in the coming year I would also discover that I can nurse two babies at once, do more than eight loads of laundry in the same day that I change twenty diapers, survive on a hypo allergenic diet for my reflux baby, swaddle infants so well they almost instantaneously fall asleep. And still qualify as “challenged.”
Well maybe the following year when I discover one mom can take three children under the age of four, swimming, to the zoo, to the mall, and grocery shopping? Nope. Still not turning out those special occasion cards, or filling clear plastic bins with toys to keep from stepping on them in the middle of the night. And definitely not teaching the preschooler to balance on the toilet in order to reach the linen cabinet.
So with no qualms what so ever I say, keep your labels for your canned goods. This mama may have challenges, but she is in no way challenged.
You rock, girl…! You really can do it all. well, except that I didn’t get a birthday card.
Hahahaha love this! I only have one boy but my house is always a mess and I have stopped sending out snail mails hahaha.
Well done! I often consider the toys all over the floor as a security device. In case some one robs us, I’m hoping one of those Hot Wheels will cause serious injury. Another title that has been bugging me lately is stay at home mom. Yes, that’s what I do but there is so much more to it!
Mama you are the best! I found your blog at just the right time in my life. Being a wife, mother of a 3 yr. old dying for extra attention and a new baby, I need to know that things will work out for the best. It may not be perfect, but at least it works for your family and I hope what I’m doing will work out for mine in the long haul. Keep writing!
I was the poster behind you today on #31DBBB – Yay! I should aim to be after you every day so I make sure to stop here.
Anyway, love it!! We all have challenges and I appreciate them because it means I’m blessed enough to have kids and a messy house to go with them. :)
LOVED this! I know EXACTLY what you are talking about!
I must say, I’m impressed with three kids that you’re able to write a blog! I have two kids – 13 year-old girl and 1 year-old boy. So much easier for me because my 13 year-old obviously doesn’t need diaper changes and whatnot. Although, she still can’t seem to get the cooking & feeding herself thing down yet. :)
Sometimes I think the mom’s whose houses are spotless and never miss sending a bday card, etc. must be sacrificing somewhere else. For example, there are toys all over my living room floor and my bedroom is a disaster. But, I’ve played with my son, kissed his cheeks, snuggled him, and enjoyed spending time with my husband and daughter. I’d have missed that if I were in the bathroom scrubbing the sinks.
Love your writing too. “Maternally retarded.” That’s comedy right there.
What a great post! Our house was (is) always a mess too-I was always reading or singing along with Raffi, painting or exploring something interesting with my kids. The only way one would know company was coming is by how clean the house was!! Haha!
Although, we did use toy jail a couple of times, it never really stuck.
Way to go with 3!!
Thanks for stopping by my blog-I’m glad you did because now I found you!
My house is definitely lived in! Heck, me and my wife can’t keep up with three kids, and there’s TWO OF US! Just keep doing what you’re doing and enjoy the kids. They’re more important than worrying about any challenge you didn’t get to anyway.
I finally came by after all the twitter chatting, and discovered that your blog is beautiful! As is your writing. :) I love this post. Very funny and endearing, and I’m sure very encouraging to moms at the same time. (I wouldn’t know because I’m not a mom – but I can pretty much guarantee my house is going to be a zoo when there’s even one small child living in it – let alone 3!)
Challenged you are NOT! I love this post and can I just say how beautiful your blog is? Really enjoy the look of it and your writing as well!
There was a poem written in Dear Abby years ago, I loved it so much that I committed it to memory and then into a cross stitch…
It reads…
Come in, but don’t expect to find
all dishes done all floors a shine
The little ones we shelter here
don’t thrive on spotless atmosphere
They’re more inclined to disarray
and carefree even messy play
All day long I’m at the call of
“Mommy come” “Mommy See”
wiggly worms and red-scraped knee
Painted pictures, blocks piled high
My floors unshined the days go by.
Some future day they will flee this nest
and I at last will have a rest,
yet which really matters more?
A happy child or a spotless floor?
Thanks for your post… :)