Feeling low on cash, and really wanting ten more flats of St Augustine’s grass for the yard. I come up with this great idea of counting the millions of spare coins I have in the bottom of my purse, top of the dresser etc. etc.
Only have quarter and penny rolls. So, clearly I start with the quarters. And then dimes in the penny rolls. And nickels in the quarter rolls. And one fifty cent penny roll. All told, over seventy five dollars.
Now here is the challenge, three kids in a bank branch. I usually do the drive thru ATM but they don’t take change. I would take my change to the garden store but I’d rather not piss off too many people this early.
So, with one double umbrella stroller a shopping bag full of counted coins and a mission at hand, we head out.
As we walk in everything seems under control. The twins are sitting quietly, the employees are smiling at… the crazy lady with three kids? No, that comes later.
As soon as we stop to wait our turn in line, it all goes south. The big guy starts racing his car on the ribbons meant to hold the line in order. And it goes flying back into its spring loaded coil.
The little guy decides he’d like to play too and turns around in his seat to scale the back of the stroller nearly flipping it and his sister over.
Two more people in front of us. I just hope they’re fast.
And then I spot my life boat. Each teller has a bowl full of lollipops sitting at their windows. They must have known we were coming!
One person in front of us. ANd I distract my angry toddler with the dow jones industrials on the television.
Finally, we’re up. I don’t even make eye contact with the girl before I grab three lollipops, unwrap them all simultaneously, and flop the little guy into his seat.
Only then do I open the bag of coins to discover the ones that WERE in the wrong size wrapper have all escaped.
The lollipops are small and won’t last long. So, I push it across to the teller and say, “Well, it was all counted.”
She pulls out a new set of coin rolls in every denomination, and starts making sense of my chaos. I attempt to help. However, in the time it takes me to count two dollars worth of coins she has counted eighty four dollars worth.
But, I also had to dole out another round of lollipops just to keep the peace.
We made it through in the end. And rather than offer me any more lollipops she gave me a whole wad of new coin rolls, in ALL sizes. But, I can’t imagine they were really sad to see us go.
Oh, and by the time we got to the garden store, they had but two flats of grass.