Now this list is probably a bit biased towards fathers with wives that
work their asses off keeping the house in some kind of order primarily stay home and take care of the kids. But, I imagine there are at least a few tips just about any man can learn from.
See being a stay at home mom is not as easy as some may make it look. We smile with kids for pictures and plan fun birthday parties. But, honestly our lives would be exponentially easier if you could just be clear on a few points. OK ten. For now. To begin with.
1) Toilet seats should always be returned to their intended position. And that would be DOWN.
2) As long as were on the topic of toilets, it is important to know that these things do not clean themselves. And no, flushing does not qualify as cleaning. If there is still visible evidence that you used it then it is in fact your responsibility to remedy it.
3) Dishes are yet another item unable to clean themselves. And not putting the dirty dishes in the sink or leaving a pot to “soak” overnight does not in fact qualify as having taken care of it.
4) Technically a kitchen is not clean unless the pots pans and dishes are put away, the counters are clean, and all food items are put away in their respective homes.
5) Watching your own children is not babysitting. Especially since any babysitter would be fired for watching a football game or tending to emails while in charge of children. Therefore, claiming the title may actually require you to exert yourself more than you already are.
6) Household items such as crockpots or vacuums are not to be referred to as gifts. Ever. Not even if they’re wrapped. With a bow.
7) No woman ever woke up looking forward to making the beds, vacuuming the floors, and serving meals to an audience that redefines indecisive and picky on a daily basis.
8) Taking care of children all day means she is working with a group of people that are actively trying to tune her out, find ways around helping her out, and generally have NO interest in going along with the program. So unless you want to be classified as one of them, look at her and listen to her when she speaks.
9) If you have a commute during which you get to listen to your own radio station, and a lunch break during which you have no one screaming your name or asking for a bite of your food, let alone sitting in your lap, your needs for me time have already been met by the time you hit the front door. Seriously.
10) And last but not least. If you ever find yourself wondering just exactly what she does all day, just try it.
And no I don’t mean let her go shopping on Super Bowl Sunday while you watch the kids.
I mean take a weekday off from your job. Send her away for at least ten hours.
Yes, a whole day! A day when homework needs to be turned in, kids need to be adequately dressed for school and on time. With matching socks. Lunches need to be made. Laundry dishes and general housecleaning need to be done. As much as you can get done as fast as you can get it done.
Then pick said children up promptly after school. Tend to their extra-curricular activities. Limit their television time. Supervise homework.
Oh and prepare a nutritious dinner from scratch. No french fries. With all children present and accounted for.
And then take a moment to reflect.
I could go on. But I think this is a pretty good start.
What do you think did I leave anything out?