Yep that’s right. Spanking is stupid.
I just came across a mom offering advice on discipline. She said she always spanked her kids. Once for regualr offenses and twice for more life threatening offenses. And now that they are older has never once had to visit them in jail as teenagers. Not exactly the most glowing recommendation. But, got me to thinking on just how devoid of logic the practice of spanking is.
In fact I’m not even going to point to any studies. Just take the idea at it’s core. And you’ll see the stupidity.
A child does something wrong, and the parent hits him/her. What does that teach the child?
A) It is OK to hit. Especially if you are bigger than the person you are hitting.
B) When Mommy and Daddy say “We don’t hit,” they are lying.
C) Overpowering someone smaller than you is not only ok but educational.
The answer? D) All of the above.
And I don’t care if you call it a swat, pop, smack, spank. It is all hitting.
Schools are not allowed to do it (at least in my state), strangers are not allowed to do it. And if one adult so much as touches another adult in an unwanted fashion, it is considered assault. So how can anyone really argue that the logic behind spanking is not essentially stupid?
Especially since we seem to be facing a national epidemic of bullying. Which is essentially built on the same premise. The big kid picks on the little kid because he/she can. They are looking for power. And guess what, these kids were not born knowing how to bully. They were taught.
Additionally, when I think of what my kids could ideally turn out to be as adults the first thing that comes to mind is not an employee that fears authority and thinking outside of the box. I want my kids to be bold and brave. Ready to reinvent the wheel if they have to. And while I don’t have a study that says spanking is going to prevent them from doing that. Logic tells me it is definitely not teaching them the morals and ideals that are going to help get them there.
Now I’m not saying I have never spanked any of my children. Or claiming that I do not continue to struggle at moments with the temptation to end whatever issue I’m having with a quick smack on the bottom. I have spanked in the past on very rare occasions. And do continue to catch myself at particularly trying moments having to cling desperately to my patience. Or what is left of it.
Additionally, I’m not saying people who spank are stupid. It does end a behavior quickly and concisely.
And yes I am keenly aware of the argument,”I was raised that way and I survived well enough.” But people survive car crashes and major illnesses everyday too. It doesn’t mean we should start seeking out these experiences on purpose.
So, If someone has a better explanation I’d love to hear it. Maybe even try to understand it.
Because, from my perspective in logical terms it teaches nothing of value. But as a society, we still use it.
And therefore seems to me like a bit of a lazy man’s cop out. If all I ever did when my kids misbehaved was spank them I would never have to think about anything but ending their behavior. Quick and simple.
But still stupid.