Big Fat Disclaimer: I personally have always believed that the government should not tell women what they can or can not do with their bodies. At the same time I have always known that for me personally aborting a pregnancy would never be acceptable. With that said, there are certain types of abortions that I have nothing to say about. While others I think should not even exist outside of the imminent demise of the mother.
Apparently a woman by the name of Bettina Paige wrote a story for Elle Magazine about her struggle with selective reduction. A process by which potassium chloride is injected into a fetuses heart to stop it from beating and therefore ending the pregnancy.
It is often considered when higher order multiples(three or more) are conceived and pose a danger to the pregnancy. In some situations it is deemed that terminating one or more of the fetuses will help the others to survive.
But that was not the case with Bettina. After being artificially inseminated, she was pregnant with boy/ girl twins and had a young son at home. She had been told through CVS (a test for chromosomal abnormalities) that both babies were healthy.
According to an article on Babble.com she and her husband decided that their lifestyle could not handle twins. According to her,”My husband was convinced that twins would radically change our lives for the worse. We’d have to leave our beloved neighborhood for a place with cheaper rents and better public schools—there was no way we could afford private education for three kids. We’d kiss goodbye any hope of career advancement, at least for the foreseeable future. To his list, I added the loss of my income, necessary to meet our expenses. I couldn’t see how I’d be able to resume working after the birth since we could never afford full-time help, and—no matter how well they napped—two infants wouldn’t leave much time for anything else…. I know it sounds selfish, but I wanted to protect the well-being of the people already in my life—my son, my husband, and, yes, myself.”
Ok. Here is where I stop. Breathe. Look at the clock and decide it is far too early for a glass of wine. But dark chocolate may suffice. And begin rant.
Are you kidding me? I had an eighteen month old toddler when I found out I was pregnant with boy/girl twins. And although some nights I would find myself crying in the kitchen thinking about how I was going to cope. And we too could not afford full-time help. I could never imagine purposely ending the life of my child because I didn’t think I’d be able to afford private school, and a cute neighborhood.
We could barely afford the help we did have to hire when I was put on modified bed rest at twenty-five weeks. And even then kept it limited to the most active hours of our son’s day.
I’m not going to lie. Being pregnant with twins, and I had a fairly uncomplicated pregnancy, is no joke. And having a toddler on top of it all was trying. But, choosing between one of the children and our own convenience? I can honestly say the thought never crossed my, nor my husband’s, mind.
Oh but wait. There is more. Additionally, her husband reasoned,”Our twins weren’t part of God’s plan… They were the product of artificial insemination.”
I don’t allow this word in my house so I’m going to spell it out.
Hello S-T-U-P-I-D. Apparently they don’t teach sex-ed very well at your pretty little private school. So here goes. Fraternal twins are the result of the mother dropping two eggs instead of one. Artificial insemination is when your boys are injected into your wife without the presence of your penis. So unless your wife was on fertility drugs. Which is not indicated here. The presence of two eggs, had everything to do with nature and nothing to do with your inability to fertilize them without the help of science.
Maybe, just maybe. It was part of God’s plan to give you and your wife a reason to stop thinking about yourselves. And start thinking about the choices you make in your life and the resulting consequences. Like writing a check and signing a form that says there is a chance this very expensive high tech procedure could result in the presence of multiples.
As long as we’re making s-t-u-p-i-d generalizations about the will of God, maybe it was not part of God’s plan for you to have any children in the first place. I am not against people using fertility treatments to have children. But, I am against people using it to play God themselves. I do not think scientific advances give parents the right to play Monopoly with their children’s lives when the possibility of having to make sacrifices (not of a medical nature) is just more than they think they can bare.
Fertility treatments often result in multiple births. Just ask the lovely ladies in my invaluable Mother of Multiples Club.
I find it utterly despicable and reckless to end the life of a fetus just because it is more than you think you can bare. And then justify your doing so by blaming it on the fertility treatments you paid for.
Considering the evidence, maybe the kids would have been better off in public school after all.